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Showing posts from April, 2010

A Plea for Christmas Spirit

Dear Santa Claus -- I just ran over the $200 RazorE 200 MotorScooter that you got Ben for Christmas. The 10" pneumatic tire is popped which wouldn't matter much because the seat is jammed into it. Can you please resend a new one ASAP?

10 Years of Marraige -- Secret Recipe for Success??

While it has been 10 years since I first danced in my parents backyard to the Spice Girls with my husband, I have to admit that these years we have systematically decided and figured out most of the faults and annoying habits of each other. Now as my husband and I celebrate our tenth anniversary, I feel inspired to share the secret recipe of how to live in harmony with the opposite sex within the cherished institution known as Friendly Fire....

So really what is the secret recipe of a successful marriage??

Overall, I think that Secrets and Marriage have to go hand in hand. If I told Tyler everything I did knew or thought, our marriage would crumble under the massive evidence of my crazy behavior.

I think that is why women everywhere have formed the "Wife Secrecy Act" which is the true recipe of how a couple can survive the first 10 years of marriage, but I have to confess many are against this. And the government and banks aren’t working with us on this secret either. Let me ex…

It is official... Ben is going to Scouts!

Bring on the pinewood derby!

Ben is Baptized and 8 really is GREAT!

Why do we never get a picture with the mom??

Husband 1.0 -- Tech Support Needed

Dear Tech Support,

10 years ago I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall system performance over the years, particularly in the flower, chocolates and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 automatically uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

It also seems that Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashed all together.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3, as suggested, to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Children Climbing 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications wo…

Anybody else JAZZED about New Moon??

What mother can honestly say this hasn't been going on at their house.... Go TEAM JACOB!


The NO April Fools Zone

Just something I don't have in me is to be mean to a person and then say "april fools" to make it all better. I don't know if it is because of my lack of creativity or that my husband is so much better than me that defeat is always on the mind. So I told my kids that we are a NO APRIL FOOLS DAYS ZONE, which didn't work and Audrey ended up in tears because Ben stole her gloves. So we had to have a talk about how being mean just isn't that funny and how it is better to play a prank that will make people laugh. Game on... here are a few pranks you can pull, TODAY ONLY, and they won't make anybody cry.

Classic Prank:

Do the SplitsFind a scrap of cloth. Place a dollar on the floor and stay nearby. When the victim comes by and bends down to pick up the dollar, rip the cloth loudly. Most people will reach back to see if they ripped their pants.
Facebook PrankPost "I am pregnant" in your box (of course, if you have gained weight …

Life is Sporadic

My sister, Beth, was talking to me on a Wednesday and said, let's go to California for Katie's baby shower on Friday... Tyler had the weekend off so I thought, Ok, makes sense. So we packed in the car and took our babies (we'll I took Audrey who is 5) and headed back home to South Pasadena. The ride down was fantastic (if you count that I almost got hit by a semi because the snow was so hard that I couldn't see anything in front of me or that we had to stop for the bathroom every other exit), but it was great. I guess you can't go wrong when you are blasting Spice Girls and Bon Jovi. We got to South Pas on Friday around noon and did the whole "high school" thing... swung by Carmines, got a Diet Coke at McDonald's, got a curly donut from Winchells, ate at Beef Bowl... and the pounds were packing on. Actually, I think the most exciting part about being "home" was that right when we got out of the car... we just sat on the grass for about 2 hou…

Recipes

I am posting some of my classic recipe copy cats that I have improved and worked on...

Tito's Taco Salsa Recipe

Ingredients:

8 roma tomatoes
1.5 small pickled jalapenos
One pickled carrot from the jalapeno can
One thin slice of white onion
Juice from 1/4 lime
about a tsp of salt
ten or so dashes of pepper (too much overpowers the other flavors)

I use my chop wizard and chop it all up into very small squares... then the secret is that you have to let it sit in the fridge for 24 hours.

Shredded Beef for Burritos

Ingredients:

2 pounds roast beef
3 cans Coke (NOT diet, big suprise)
1/4 c. brown sugar
dash garlic salt
1/4 c. water
1 can sliced green chilies
3/4 can RED enchilada sauce (I used Old El Paso brand, medium spiciness)
1 c. brown sugar

Throw it all in the crock potfor about 4 to 6 hours

CILANTRO-LIME RICE

Ingredients:

1 c. uncooked rice
1 tsp. butter or margarine
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp. freshly squeezed lime juice
1 can (15 oz) chicken broth
1 cup water
1 Tbsp. freshly squeezed lime juice
2 …