Are you Ready for Once Upon a Cartier?!

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After over one-hundred years on this earth, in this dimension, of being a total controlling type-A Fairy, the last few months transcended a whirlwind of chaos and anxiety for Laila Simons who is desperately trying to balance a thin line between fate and destiny. The worst part? If she makes the decision to control her own destiny, her fate will change and she will not make it through another day alive. And somehow, in the midst of utter turmoil, she falls uncharacteristically in love with a man seeking to release the mystery of what is hidden inside her small, heart-shaped golden locket. The only way to save those she loves and the world is to put her faith in the hands of the one she shouldn’t trust. Will Laila abandon her elude the life predetermined by the stars to capture her eternity in a Cartier ring?

A story of love and deceit, secrets and betrayals, that takes us from the mythical ruins of the Greek Gods to the backyard of the historical city known as Pasadena. Once upon a Cartier is the love story, a bold inquiry into destiny and Laila’s decision to pursue a path towards everlasting love and unspeakable loss. 

Debbie Cluff is an author, educator and avid blogger at: Confessions of a 30-ish Overworked and Underpaid Housewife. She enjoys most of the time she spends as a mother and is a very loving, devoted wife (don’t tell her husband, though). Debbie received her bachelor's of arts from California State University and a master's degree in elementary education from University of Phoenix. She has authored over a dozen articles for online publications and a few novels for her sisters. Debbie resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, with her husband and three children.

What I know for sure about 2011 and my New Years Resolutions

The New Year is like a rebirth for us mothers… a time when we can reflect on our mistakes throughout the past 12 months and vow to become a new mom, a super mom, in the next few days. We put together a list of mental and physical activities with great detail confessing our top sins and plans to over come them. But, by March, the battle of new mom versus old mom is lost, we feel like a bunch of losers for, once again, not being able to keep a promise.

One might ask, WHY?! Why do we always fail in our quests for rebirthing a new year and becoming the moms we see in the neighborhood? We’ll it is because we overestimate ourselves and wish to resolve the wrong issues. Let’s face it, we have eaten our way through 2010 and it isn’t just going to just magically stop because we stay up past midnight. While it would be nice to be one of “those moms” who has quiet authority over her children it is just not something realistic with my lifestyle.

Plus it is a total drag to give up bad habits that took a good year to install! So, I suggest, let’s give ourselves a break. Life is tough, the economy is bad (we are in a freaking recession!) and setting myself up for failure should not be in the daily routine of 2011. This years resolutions have to set us up for success and the most successful resolutions are those that are SUPER vague, something that we will be doing anyways, and something that we really really want to do (no, sorry, we really don’t want to get up at 5 am and do P90X).

While you are brainstorming your ideas here are a few of mine. Wish me luck…

1. To stop asking stupid questions like “Did you flush the toilet” or “Did you unload the dishes” or “How many times do I have to tell you”? Instead I am going to command attention from my children “FLUSH THE TOILET”! “UNLOAD THE DISHES” “I AM ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE”. While they might just laugh, at least I can say I did it.
2. To keep a stash of Diet Coke in the pantry hidden from my husband and children for emergency anti-stress applications. Though I am now calling the local 7-11 my “mommy cave”.
3. To maintain a permanent chore chart list so Ben and Audrey don’t keep fighting about whose day it is to do the dishes or who needs to feed the dog. It will be SET in STONE until 2012.
4. To NEVER, EVER take my kids with me to the grocery store. Enough said.
5. I will spend less time yelling (this does come with a disclaimer... unless the situation demands a good yelling for example when the kids walk across the floor I just mopped). So it is LESS time yelling, not totally not yelling.
6. I resolve that my house will never be a house free of clutter, thus I resolve to ignore my husbands comments that the house is a always a mess.
7. Stop screaming “What? What did you say?” when my kids are suppose to be in bed, but trying to find a way to maintain constant communication with me.
8. Stop asking, “Why is every light in this house turned on?” and instead charging them for the electricity.
9. Superglue the gloves to my son’s hands so they actually make it to school and home, in the same day.
10. Finally, I will exercise patience and control my temper when I meet dumb people (especially fat men at Maverick who hit my car door and then try to blame me for what happened. Only to cause me to escalate into a roaring fit, call my husband, and explain to the police officer why I hate dealing with fat, egotistical men).

We’ll there you have it, resolutions I can live with and actually have a good feeling about. Maybe I should of added work on procrastination because it is the 2^nd and I am just making my list… but then again New Years was on a Saturday and we should ALWAYS start things on a Monday. Heck, I might just resolve these all in January and have to add the get my kids a pet resolution....

Twas the Night Before the Night Before Christmas...

Twas the night before the night before Christmas and all through the houses mother were shopping online for the perfect gift blouse… Well maybe not a blouse, but it did rhyme!

I have to say it this year, “Bah Humbug”. I am starting to wonder if maybe Mr. Scrooge had it right. Now ordinarily I LOVE LOVE Christmas. I get so excited when the day after Thanksgiving I can walk into any store and hear “those sleigh bells ringing”. I print out my Christmas List early so everything is done and prep the kids on how to smile in pictures and what to say when the in-laws start to hand out the red reindeer sweaters. Every house we pass that has a Christmas Lights a blazing, my kids and I ooh and ahh!

Then it hit, a couple of weeks ago, it was all fun and games as I woke up early to head out for the last minute Black Friday sales. Then the calendar started to fill up with seasons greetings, Christmas parties, Christmas sings, dance recitals, husband work party and the snow started falling (literally, we are in Utah). And seriously how can any parent stay sane at this point with a 2 hour dance Christmas Grinch dance performance?

It isn’t that my standards are set super high for this holiday (though my husband just texted me and asked if I was going to cry because he only got me one present). I know I will never have the perfect Martha Stewart tree and the stockings all hung on the mantle with care. But the pressure is ON, like donkey kong, to make this the “happiest place on earth” in my house on the 25^th. You see my kids know Disneyland, oh they know it well, and that is some high expectations. I blame the television and all the ads that blast daily in our house for setting the limit as unreachable. My four year old asks for a different toy everyday and most of the time I have no idea what she is talking about (what the heck are Zoobles??).

Year after year, I have to remind myself that it really isn’t all the stuff and the parties and my high strive for excellence that counts. Ben still talks about how every year we go and see the lights at Thanksgiving Point and going to my parents house for the annual Christmas Eve gift exchange. Audrey loves it that we open pj’s the night before. And Emma, well, she has no idea what is going on, but mark my words she will remember something non materialistic!

Now to all those last minute shoppers, I had forgotten that doing isn’t as important as savoring the memories. So it is December 23^rd… I might still have time to save the holiday (heck, scrooge did!). Time for me to do less, rein in on the reindeer's, reduce my stress and with that my kids and husband will actually be able to see a more relaxed and calm Mom. Maybe the media does have it right, that would be “the most happiest place on earth” for my family.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa – Here is my Christmas List

I hope you’ll be able to assist

You see, please bring them all,

My husband just couldn’t seem to find them at the mall.

I would like to have my own king size bed,

That includes a pillow for just my single head.

You see, dear Santa, it may seem,

My kids are unable to have a good dreams.

Without adding trouble I need this to include a full night’s sleep,

You must understand I know what I am asking for is pretty steep.

Also, I need to have a long, hot shower,

One that is not included in my families “rush hour”.

My showers, dear Santa, will have to envision

Includes residue from the table and my parent supervision.

With hands flaring around and kids kicking and screaming,

My shower time consists of much parental scheming.

Now I am not asking for magical unicorns, a wand or a clown,

The next thing I need is the disappearance of these unwanted pounds.

In that small request I have to inquire,

If no working out or food deprivation can be required?

It is quite simple, for Christmas I want those pounds to simply melt away,

Heck, I am sure you can easily fit that simple enough in your sleigh.

Strange enough, I remember putting this on my list last year,

I guess there was mis-communication and I wasn’t very straightforward or clear.

I would simply like to go to the bathroom alone,

Somehow we need to make this a kid free zone.

For it seems that as I walk towards the bathroom door,

A loud alarm is sounded and POOF the kids start to roar.

Now, if this last gift request does seem a bit difficult or unfair,

I can settle each morning to brush my teeth and comb my hair.

Of course, the weight of all these things might cause your sleigh bells not to ring.

If that's the case, dear Santa, I do not want you to crash,

so please feel free to just bring me some cash.

And here is what he responded...

I thought you haven’t been naughty, but nice.

But I called your husband and he checked his list even twice.

So all the way from the cold North Pole

All I could get you is this bag of coal.

- Santa