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Showing posts from August, 2010

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Why I should of NEVER let my Diaper Bag Go!

My kids are 4, 6 and 8. Well out of diapers, thank you very much. (See? IT IS TRUE. No one goes to high school in diapers!) But that did not keep me from grabbing a cool diaper bag out of a pile of clothes during a yard sale, and squealing with delight.I mean, it still had the tags on it, for heaven’s sake.To be honest, at first I didn’t realize that it was a diaper bag – but then, I started to notice some things. Like, the thermal bottle pockets on the sides. And some accessories that were attached to the bag with one of those plastic tag-thingies. And instead of recoiling and dropping that bag like a hot potato, I inspected it further. And that is when I realized: diaper bags (much like maternity clothes) have gotten better with time (I remember when I brought Ben home from the hospital and actually used the ones they gave me for the first 4 months... YIKES! Remember the pastel animals and the alphabet letters). This one is a basic red with a faux leather black trim. It is…

Booty Trap: My Bathroom is Under Surveillance

My toilet seat is booty trapped.There have been clues all along, but I just put two and two together. Every time I sit down on the toilet my kids are alerted and suddenly I am bombarded with children banging on the door, barging in and shouting "Mommy, I need you." "Mom, where are you?" and "MOOOOOOOOM! Do you know what Ben did?"Seriously. It’s an ambush.They could have been playing in their rooms, quiet and content for hours. They could be out in the playroom deeply enmeshed in a game of Super Mario Kart. Heck, they could be down the block at a neighbor's house! But the second my butt hits that toilet seat they come running.I'm not sure if the alarm is depressed by sitting, or if there is a motion sensor, so I decided to check this out. I examined my toilet. I lifted the seat, I waved my hand over the bowl, I even looked under rim. Nothing. I pressed my kids for answers. "What have you done to my toilet?" I asked. They stare…

The Overall Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School

Oh, yes it is... that time of year!! Happy School Starting Month!

Misconception Number 1: Moms miss their kids when they go back to school

Seriously. I’ve had enough of you by now. Every morning with the “what are we going to do today, Mom?” is finally over. I’ve had looked at your faces twenty-four seven for the last 77 days. It’s time to go learn something other than how to drive your mother to drinking (Diet Coke, of course). No more asking me about the pool, when is the next snack or if you have a late night with Elle and watch a movie. It’s over….You’re going back to School and I get to have a life again. There is a Christmas morning for parents and it’s called “back to school”.

Misconception Number 2: Moms like to go school shopping.

Are you freaking kidding me? Why do I pay taxes?...so I can rack up a 200 dollar bill at Staples for crap that we have laying around my house in junk drawers but never seem to use?? Why does it have to be new pencils? What’s wrong with the chewed up, br…