Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Family Pictures

My brother Jacob got off his mission and then two weeks later my brother Justin left to Italy on his mission... PHEW! So what did we do? A family picture with all the brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews... what a blast! I am so thankful for my wonderful family and all their support. They make me a better person... here is just my little family and just wait for the big ones to come ;)

Sunday, August 23, 2009


Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decad es. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY - How about You?

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Hair Callick or Cowlick


SO a dear friend and I were talking (who will remain nameless, but anybody have to say focaccia?) and I was telling her how Audrey could NEVER have bangs because she has this horrible "Cow Lick". This woman, who is still anonymous, starts laughing at me and says it is "Callick". I was like "no" it is "cowlick"so I called my dad and he reconfirmed her grammar. Being TOTALLY embarrassed (as I usually am when I misspronounce a word... what was that last one? Oh yeah, I thought it was kick in the "grown", but it is "groin"), so I didn't question her. I also then went home and told the story to my husband who agreed with her and laughed at me. I then decided the proper thing to do was to google it and this is where I AM RIGHT! Here you go, all those callick lovers...

The term you want is actually “cowlick”, which my grandmother said is called such because these hair growth patterns make you look as though a cow (known to have particularly sticky and thick saliva) has licked your head, making the hair stick up. However, since some cowlick sufferers have never been anywhere near a cow in their lives, it’s best to explain what really causes a cowlick.

Cowlicks are anomalous growth patterns in the hair. As we all know the hair is produced in the skin of the scalp in follicles. The size and shape of these follicles can affect the texture and wave pattern of the hair that is produced. Yet, when most people picture the hair follicles in the skin, they imagine them as perfectly vertical with the hair growing straight up and out of the scalp.

Sucka! I am the linguistic queen!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Challenger Way

You might have noticed that I have been a bit MIA in my blogging, well I decided to go and get a job (okay, so another job, not talking about my fav job doing resumes or my other job as a magnification house-cleaner/mother/wife). I was thinking that my baby is going to preschool and I better find a way to fill my time from 8 to noon... so I applied at the private school Challenger and got a job as a preschool teacher during those times. LOL. Kayley (my roomate from college and next door neighbor) was applying as well and now we are both "that's my school- Challenger" employees. I would say it is everything that I remember, but we are training so all of a sudden I am back in the saddle with a 8 to 5 job, juggling Tyler's last 3 weeks of school, Ben's first week of 2nd grade, and Audrey's last week before kindergarten. Any of my old teaching buddies, I have to say this was MUCH easier when I was single and married with no kids! I am a bit stressed out (especially since I can't seem to find babysitters), but will be very excited to have Emma in a free preschool Monday-Friday all day ;) I do plan on picking her up before 12:30 because that is "nap" time and if you know Emma, you know she would either beat up the teacher or claw her way out of napping. HA!

If you don't know Challenger, you can Google them. I am going to plead the fifth on their philosophy which is WAY more political than I am use to (I didn't realize how much the founding fathers could be talked about in one day until I went to the "freedom" hour long class. Did you know that they said that "public school teachers make the same amount of money as surgeons and lawyers because of all their time off and summer vacations). I think Emma will fit in nicely though, she negotiates like you wouldn't believe ;) She also is very liberal in her decisions with who she is going to play with and yet represents a bit of her conservative side when sweet talking somebody to get her way. So send me a post saying you love me because I need all the well wishes on my return to the working world, while still working from home. If that makes any sense.