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Showing posts from December, 2009

Holiday Eating Tips...

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving some real food.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort …

My Political Statement for 2009

It is remarkable that the press can find every woman with whom Tiger has had an affair in the last few years with photos, text messages, recorded phone calls, etc. They know not only the cause of the family fight, but they even know it was a wedge from his golf bag that she used to break out the windows in the Escalade. Not only that, they know WHICH wedge !

The is the same press (or is it?) that cannot locate Obama's birth certificate . . . or any of his papers while in college.

Truly remarkable !

Twas the Night Before Christmas

As I have ordered 50 Christmas Cards to send out and put addresses on them I then decided that I will never make it to the mailbox and get the letters to my dear friends and family. There is snow on the ground and I am from Southern California and strongly believe in the philosophy that if it is not sunny outside, you don't go outside. SO here you go... here is a recap of my little family in the year 2009.

Tyler is currently working as a police officer and loving it. I think he just likes to carry his gun and hand cuffs with him wherever he goes... but that might just be my opinion. I can't see that being very comfortable when we go to the movies. He is now home 3 days of the week, all day. No complaints here (Ok, so seriously if you are talking to me I would be complaining cause he messes with my groove when he is home, but...) only because him and Emma are the bestest of friends in the world and she makes him laugh as hard as he makes her laugh. I think really over this last …

A Little bit of Sunshine in December

As always, there is snow on the ground, in the trees, and in my doorway in December, but at our house we have a little bit of sunshine that makes the dreary cold days warmer....

Here is Audrey's latest design that brought a smile to my face as I walked up the stairs to find that she had turned her bed into a drive through (Did I mention that I was out with the ladies in the neighborhood and Tyler had been on bedtime duty. ALSO, Emma had taken the entire bottle of lip gloss, the kind that is pure baby oil and has a little ball at the end, and dumped it on her head) .... I mean, what parent wouldn't just beam with happiness that her daughter is sounding words out. I can translate (she does things like this alot):
French Fries
Chicken Nuggets
Translation: Drinks Soda Lemonade Coke Diet Pepsi

And then the happiest moments of my day, that really brings a true warmness to my heart... they are sleeping, that means they are not talking to me (and hopefully can't make a…

Hasn't this happened to ALL of Us or is it just me?

How I learned to mind my own business

I was walking past the convalescent hospital the other day,
And all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a
Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see
What was going on.....

And someone poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting '14.....14....14'...