I’m about to share another secret that will make you a hero to women everywhere. So much so, that when word gets around, wives and girlfriends will ask their men why they can’t be more like you. It’s gonna be great.
And here it is...
All you need to do is thank the mother of your children on Labor Day. Bring her flowers, say “Thank You”, and tell her that Labor Day is a day of thanks for her enduring childbirth.
Simple? Absolutely. Genius? Absolutely-er.Even if you are among the 2% of Americans who actually know the history behind the holiday, you still aren’t excused from reveling around this level of genius. Allow me to educate nearly everyone reading this post, as I did myself.
According to History.com, as the Industrial Revolution took hold of the nation, the average American in the late 1800s worked 12-hour days, seven days a week in order to make a basic living. With the long hours and terrible working conditions, American unions voiced their demands for a better way of life. On Tuesday September 5, 1882, 10,000 workers marched from city hall to Union Square in New York City, holding the first-ever Labor Day parade.
Fast forward 12 years, through union struggles, the Pullman railway strike, and the subsequent bloodshed after the government sent troops to break up the boycott, and Congress ultimately declared that the first Monday in September would be the holiday for workers.
Did you catch that? “THE” holiday for workers. My, how times have changed. Over the years, the American workforce has gained vacation day after vacation day, including New Year’s, Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Father's Day, Christmas, and more. This isn’t your great-great-grandfather’s oppression.
On Memorial Day, we make it a point to thank our troops, thank our veterans, and thank those who serve our country. When Labor Day arrives, will we be out there thanking people who have jobs by cleaning the house and finding a way to BBQ.
If the focus of Labor Day’s existence has already shifted from the Labor movement to barbecues, why not make one more progression? Why not celebrate something more positive and put the focus on the start of a new life rather than the end of another summer?
Perhaps I’ll be the only one with the stones to celebrate Labor Day in this fashion, but I want those who think I’m nuts to consider three things:
1. The Labor class uprising came on the heels of 12 hour days, seven days a week. Most moms would LOVE to be limited to these hours.
2. Yes, “they already have Mother’s Day”, but that day thanks them for being a mom all throughout the year. This is different. Until you can experience it and tell me otherwise, enduring labor is well deserving of a second honorary day of thanks.
3. Do you have any idea how many points YOU ARE going to earn by doing something so unexpected?
Look, you’ve probably thanked her for being a mother (at least you better have), but when was the last time you thanked her for going through contractions, back pain, cramping, nausea, exhaustion, pushing, genital tearing, swelling, bleeding, inexplicable soreness, giant mesh panties, and ice packs in places that would make you cringe…all while being tethered to machines and IV poles?
Oh, and then there’s the process of expelling a baby noggin through an opening that needs hours of coaxing before it will allow passage. Until you pass a cantaloupe, adding one more day of thanks is the least you can do.
So on this Labor Day, join me in spreading smiles on moms across America by doing something as sweet as it is unexpected.
Thank the mother of your children for going through labor and then thank Heavens knows you aren’t equipped for childbirth. She won’t expect it, but she sure does deserve it.
With that, Happy Labor Day, Mommies! This day’s for you…or at least, it should be!