Monday, January 25, 2010

Finally 34!

I will be the first to admit, I am obsessed with my birthday. It is not one of those healthy obsessions, but rather a day of the year, that even my husband, sisters, cousins, and parents fear. Before I was married my birthday's consisted of a week (or longer) long tradition of something we "Roberts" fans like to call "The Birthday Bonanza". I can remember horses, cotton candy machines, and of course, the traditional slumber party (where my dad would take us to the movies and then we would do a Chinese fire drill only to be pulled over by the San Marino cops in which one of my girlfriends tried to kiss to get us out of that ticket). I swear I was (and still am) more excited about my birthday than any other day of the year (Sorry, Ty, April 14th is up there). But, HELLO, it is only one time a year that is just all about you (or me, accept when I am with my mom, then it is about us).

Seriously.... sometimes I wonder if people should really declare the 23rd of January a freaking holiday just because then everyone could share in the amazement of this time. I mean if we can have days such as National Marshmallow Toasting Day (August 30th) or Cheese Pizza Day (September 5th), why can't we have a National Debbie Day (We did in the 11th grade declare the third Thursday of every month "Men are Scum Day", why not this?). Why wait for someone else to decide when you can celebrate and what you are celebrating, when we can all share this one day to just celebrate. There are no rules or limits as to what you can celebrate or when. SO I say in the wise words of Torrance Shipman, "Bring it On!". So here are a list of 5 things everyone should be doing on the 23rd of January, each and every year.

"Let them eat cake!" might have been an innocent remark by Antoinette, but seriously, let's eat cake. There is only really a few times a year when it is okay not to go "crazy" out of control causing people to stare and eat whatever you want. You now have my permission on this "special" holiday to have your cake and eat it to. But there is a rule to follow. Eat cake if you're under 25 or over 75. If you're in between, these are your years of discipline and clarity. Look at that pretty mass of sludge and goo for what it is.... I do say under 25 because now that I am 34... the catch phrase "a moment on the lips" is overwhelmingly true.

2. Ask yourself where you came from and where you're going. If the answer is, "I don't know," spoken with marvel and wonder, you're on the right track. As a very knowledgeable 34 year old... I feel I can tell you that I am more confused in life now than I was in my 20's. It is okay in your 30's to just admit, "I don't know" because when you say you don´t know you might actually know, but not want to know. If you say you know, you might not know that in fact you don´t know. There is a lot of sense in that don´t you think?

3.Thank your mother. Chances are the occasion you're celebrating was a pretty arduous day for her. Plus I don't think any holiday doesn't have some kind of connection to a mother. This one is very important, mostly because my mom and I share the same birthday... so since this is an "official" holiday, call your mom. And if my mom is reading this blog (which would entail that she could turn on the computer.. Snaps to You Mom!!!) WE DID IT!!! We got our holiday!

4, Be a child. Hang balloons outside your door. Announce to random strangers that it's your birthday. Ask for free deserts when you go out to dinner. Wear a scrunchy out in public. Okay, even eat the artery clogging, blood sugar elevating, thigh thickening cake if you have to. And if there aren't any random strangers around, announce it on facebook: Hey, it's my birthday! Aren't I cool? I had to call Erika and leave a message on her machine "Hey, it's Debbie. Just wanted to let you know it is my birthday. So call me so you don't have to regret not telling me "Happy Birthday" all year". And when your younger sister says to you "you are so immature", know, right then, you have made it.

5. Don't make a list of 35 things to do before you are 35. You are just a year older and really making a list of 35 things to do in a year, with a OCD behavior is really not healthy for anybody living in the house. Instead treat yourself and your best gal pals to a day at the spa. Get yourself wrapped, massaged, manicured, steamed, exfoliated and bronzed. You'll feel ten years younger at the end of the day. Isn't that what you want?

Now go out and have some fun. "Thirty something" isn't the new sixty. You've got plenty of time to enjoy your youth. So grab a Diet Pepsi from Maverick and watch a few episodes of Desperate Housewives. If them ole gals can run around enjoying themselves, so can you!