Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Are you There God? It’s me Debbie.

No one ever told Debbie Cluff that 34 would be such a hard age. When she hits the ripe old age of 34, Debbie has a whole new bunch of adjustments in her life. She has to deal with stolen snacks on the school bus, a dirty mouthed 3 year old, gas induced flax seed digestion, 5 am gym runs which takes 3 days to recover, diet coke IV, inability to do midnight movies, her daily reminder of her "cougar" status, and many more “thirty something” dramas. While she aspired in her 20’s to become a professional, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, etc, it wasn’t until she hit exactly 34 that she realized that she had become not one, but 10 different professionals at once.

1. Lawyer- although she winds up representing both sides. And yes, in her defense, a hug is a great way to follow through with disciplinary action.
2. Teacher- her poor kids are required to learn how to read and write before they enter Kindergarten…then there’s that whole homework issue which she can’t seem to control.
3. Doctor/Surgeon- oh, the stuffed animals, she stitched up and the countless meds she administered.
4. Dentist- someone has to teach them how to brush and get that corn-on-the-cob out of their teeth.
5. Plumber- not her favorite job, G.I. Joe and Polly Pocket did not need to have a Jacuzzi.
6. Paralegal- someone has to do the research for that stupid science project.
7. Politician- hey, democracy works in all households. Or is it called totalitarianism?
8. Cook/Chef- depending on the menu, a cook makes Apple Jacks and a chef make macaroni and cheese (in the blue box, of course)
9. Coroner- for pets, not the kids! This is one of those times when ‘white lies’ are okay.
10. Electrician- how many moms does it take to change a light bulb? One! With all they do, changing light bulbs is an easy job.

With all this work, Debbie knows she needs someone to talk to about growing up (yes, maybe it is time) -and it’s not long before she finds a solution.

Are you there God? Its me, Debbie. MUST SEE for 2010

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