How My Life is Like a DREAM VACATION.

So I thought about it and I really do live the life of a sex goddess who at any point in time can up and travel to see the wonders of the world, right from the comforts of my home. HOW? Just keep reading.

1. So you wish to see the Changing of the Guards in England? Who needs that when I have the changing of the sheets. Between the bed wetting and the throw up, heck this could be a daily occurrence. Feel free to stop by anytime for this magnificent encounter.
2. Niagra Falls? See the waterfall every 30 minutes with Emma during her potty training time. Heck, it happens in the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom. And for a twist... you never know when or where it will happen.
3. Imagine going to FAO in New York? OR you could come on down and see all the toys in our basement. Heck, we probably have a section for everything.
4. Travel to see the Great Barrier Reef? or you can see the great barrier of jackets that lay in my entry way. Much cheaper. They might claim to have 10,000 different species, but I claim to have at least 10,000 different shoes, Pokemon cards, gloves, hats, and other unidentifiable objects.
5. The Golden Temple is a hot spot, but I have 3 porcelain gods that have been graciously used by my daughter who is learning to transition from the pink portable toilet in the living room to these precious beings. Even my other kids are appreciating this site more.
6. VIVA LAS VEGAS, BABY or chance your luck at my house with my three kids. I am always playing a game of Russian Roulette when I forget my birth control and watch as my kids gamble away their existence by refusing to do many activities such as their daily chores, back talking, and the ever popular potty training.
7. Who needs the Taj Mahal when I have the Cluff Casa. It may not have a hybrid of artistic style and a river running along the side, but its home, its decorated and we have deer, dang it.
8. AHH, the great pyramids. This is an ever popular attraction at our house, even a hot topic of discussion with my husband. Feel free to see the "Great Pile of Laundry" that is sitting in the laundry room and now has trickled out into the hall. At this point, hiking tours are available and a necessity for those living in this area.
9. Hike Yosemite? Or Hike up and down the stairs trying to clean the house (make it even more of a challenge and bring your own vacuum)... we even have a basement so that is 3 rough trials for your hiking eadventure. Watch out for the wildlife, our cat and the falling rocks (or Star Wars characters, my little ponies, etc.), they get me on a constant basis and beware of the "loud language" that might fall at anytime. While you are at it hike all the way up the stairs and bring those toys right up to the rooms!
10. The warm close beaches of Hawaii would be nice. Yet, I find the same warmth and even more closeness in all my kids smooching into my bed in the middle of the night (though it isn't as relaxing on the body as laying on the beach) each coming in at individual times so I can consistently get a limited amount of sleep. You can expect great hospitality with a foot or hand constantly in your face and a volcano of sulfur on nights we eat beans for dinner.
11. Imagine seeing the Eiffel Tower in person!!! Even better, I have a lovely Diaper Tower that is now open for your viewing pleasure or at least until Thursday which is trash day. Same thing, but maybe a bit more stinky.

I guess I can't complain of not being able to vacation when I seem to be doing it on a daily basis.

So I Dropped Ben off at His Grandparents House and...

Should I be mad? I am not sure how I am feeling at this point, it has been a couple of days and the light sabers running down the side of his head and his name in BIG letters on the back of his head are starting to grow on me.

So this leads up to the how it happened. I dropped Ben off to have a sleepover at my parents house and came to pick him up and his head was decorated by my 16 year old brother. Everyone was laughing , but me, because Matt had said he called and asked me. I wasn't sure if I was suppose to get upset or not... so I left and called my husband, who, of course, could care less. Then I called my sister Beth, who said she would have killed him and thought I should plot against this tragedy (which Matt if you are reading this, don't do this to Nate, cause I heard what she has to say and you would be hating life) I talked to a few friends who thought I should put Nair in his shampoo, and emailed his teacher who replied, "I"m sure it will be just fine for Ben to come to school. I think he has the personality to pull it off, but I'll leave it up to you! :-)"... So all in all, I guess I just don't really care or should I care? I don't know. Thoughts?

DISCLAIMER

I guess I should add a bit of background to this story, before you go ahead and make your judgement against my brother. When my brother Jacob was in the 1st grade (he is 20 now!!), my cousin Ethan and I look in and shaved a nike sign in the back of his heads, totally wicked, but I don't know if my mom was very happy about it. He was a soccer player and I guess we couldn't do an Adidas. So my mom kept bringing that up while she was laughing. But I still want the sympathy so I am writing this small. Ben also LOVES the haircut.

Christmas with the Cluffs

This year was the best Christmas EVER! Becuase we went down to San Diego and returne don the 24th, it was a bit smaller than in years past, but I think that is why it was so good! The kids wore their matching outfits that my mom made and the presents were perfect. Tyler and I slept most of the day becuase we had pulled an ALL NIGHTER from San Diego to Lehi (the last hour we had to pull over twice to let the cold air wake us up, but don't worry we had 4 Pepsi Maxs, 2 rocketstars and a shot of something, so it really was a VERY funny drive, like really funny. Like drunken fun). The kids all got the stuff that fit their needs (I do feel like the worst mom though becuase I am not a toy buyer and they got so excited to actually have toys in the house, oh well. What are aunties and grandparents for).

So instead of a Christmas Card or letter here is our family update:

This year has been great, we moved to Lehi in April and finally are in a place that we are both happy. What a blessing to have the friends and neighboors that are considerate and actually like us! Tyler is the Police Academy on the 12th and will be working during the day and then going to school at night. He is so excited to finally be fullfilling his dream that he had when we were first married. So keep us in your prayers that he will actually get a job when he graduates in June.

Ben is in the first grade now and has a best friend name Gabe and I totally think they are dorks together, but whatever. They run around the house with pretend light sabers and guns and I dont' really understand boys. He is reading really really well and actually will read over my shoulder while I am writing my brother an email, which is strange. He sits and reads both Emma and Audrey books on a daily basis, which I love. He is super responsible, it would just impress anyone. He does the dishes, his room is ALWAYS clean, and he brings his laundry down every morning. HA! I got him trained for when he gets married.

Audrey is a cheerleader and when she is not drawing on the walls or paper she is doing tick tocks, cartwheels, handstands and flips around the house. She is in preschool and has no desire to really learn, she just wants to draw and sing. She is SO kind to everyone and will give whatever she can away to make others happy (which is hard expecially when she is giving away her food to other kids at the McDonalds Play Place).

Emma is Emma. She is funny and is just like Tyler, very kick back and likes to tease the heck out of me. She likes to tell me she loves me and really really likes to play with my hair. She follows around Ben and Audrey and really is the funniest person I have ever met (which is a both a curse and a blessing in my life). You can't get mad at her because she laughs and thinks you are joking. I don't know what to do with that one, but am so thankful for her and the joy she brings to everyone in this house.

I am doing really good. I have the most amazing work at home job and am super happy. I have started to work for this coming in teaching people how to buy groceries for a family of 4 for $180 a month, I am at $220 a month, which I think is very impressive. My sister Beth has been doing it with me and we both are super high on getting deals at the grocery store. I have friends this year! I know that might seem crazy, but I have friends who actually come over and hang out and call me and do girls night every week! It is the most amazing thing in the world... so shout out to Kayley, Jenna, Katrina, Laurie, Erica, Heidi, and Julie!


All in all, I am just glad the holidays are over and we can get ready for my birthday...

Audrey is a Cheerleader!!!

I think this has to be the proudest moment of my life as Audrey is a full fledged cheerleader. She had her first competition in December and then we drove down to San Deigo and she cheered in the Poinsetta Bowl. It was just adorable! She totally went out on the field in front of thousands of people and did her routine. We went to Lego Land and Seaworld.... which was a blast! We saw Auntie Katie and Uncle Noah there and went to the peir. The kids all hated the sand between their toes (I guess they haven't lived much). After we went down and played in the ocean we walked back to the sidewalk to get something to eat and all three kids freaked out and tried to get their feet clean. What a joke! Katie thought it was funny that they wanted to be so clean, but I think they just didn't like the feel of sand as they walked. Audrey saw her first Palm Tree and said, "I love those trees" Ben then added "Those are Palm Trees. I know that because I saw them in a book I have at school" What do you do. I guess we are all so Utah! We finally saw Heidi and her kids at SeaWorld. They had been there longer than us and were cold, but we had enough time to see the Shamu Show and take a few keepsakes. Anyhow, enjoy the pictures!