Wednesday, January 7, 2009

How My Life is Like a DREAM VACATION.

So I thought about it and I really do live the life of a sex goddess who at any point in time can up and travel to see the wonders of the world, right from the comforts of my home. HOW? Just keep reading.

  1. So you wish to see the Changing of the Guards in England? Who needs that when I have the changing of the sheets. Between the bed wetting and the throw up, heck this could be a daily occurrence. Feel free to stop by anytime for this magnificent encounter.
  2. Niagra Falls? See the waterfall every 30 minutes with Emma during her potty training time. Heck, it happens in the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom. And for a twist... you never know when or where it will happen.
  3. Imagine going to FAO in New York? OR you could come on down and see all the toys in our basement. Heck, we probably have a section for everything.
  4. Travel to see the Great Barrier Reef? or you can see the great barrier of jackets that lay in my entry way. Much cheaper. They might claim to have 10,000 different species, but I claim to have at least 10,000 different shoes, Pokemon cards, gloves, hats, and other unidentifiable objects.
  5. The Golden Temple is a hot spot, but I have 3 porcelain gods that have been graciously used by my daughter who is learning to transition from the pink portable toilet in the living room to these precious beings. Even my other kids are appreciating this site more.
  6. VIVA LAS VEGAS, BABY or chance your luck at my house with my three kids. I am always playing a game of Russian Roulette when I forget my birth control and watch as my kids gamble away their existence by refusing to do many activities such as their daily chores, back talking, and the ever popular potty training.
  7. Who needs the Taj Mahal when I have the Cluff Casa. It may not have a hybrid of artistic style and a river running along the side, but its home, its decorated and we have deer, dang it.
  8. AHH, the great pyramids. This is an ever popular attraction at our house, even a hot topic of discussion with my husband. Feel free to see the "Great Pile of Laundry" that is sitting in the laundry room and now has trickled out into the hall. At this point, hiking tours are available and a necessity for those living in this area.
  9. Hike Yosemite? Or Hike up and down the stairs trying to clean the house (make it even more of a challenge and bring your own vacuum)... we even have a basement so that is 3 rough trials for your hiking eadventure. Watch out for the wildlife, our cat and the falling rocks (or Star Wars characters, my little ponies, etc.), they get me on a constant basis and beware of the "loud language" that might fall at anytime. While you are at it hike all the way up the stairs and bring those toys right up to the rooms!
  10. The warm close beaches of Hawaii would be nice. Yet, I find the same warmth and even more closeness in all my kids smooching into my bed in the middle of the night (though it isn't as relaxing on the body as laying on the beach) each coming in at individual times so I can consistently get a limited amount of sleep. You can expect great hospitality with a foot or hand constantly in your face and a volcano of sulfur on nights we eat beans for dinner.
  11. Imagine seeing the Eiffel Tower in person!!! Even better, I have a lovely Diaper Tower that is now open for your viewing pleasure or at least until Thursday which is trash day. Same thing, but maybe a bit more stinky.

I guess I can't complain of not being able to vacation when I seem to be doing it on a daily basis.

6 comments:

AMiller said...

Oh absolutely! When can we book the trip to come see your house? Great post.

i can carry all the bags and the babies too. said...

anytime.. how is the baby?

rljones1253 said...

Who knew that being a mom was such a world adventure. I guess I will have to start looking at things a little differently.

I was laughing the whole time I was reading this. Thank you!

Carrie said...

Holy moly! It is so fun to see you and your beautiful family! This is why blogs are so great ! I will check back often! Cassie keeps me updated on your family but it would be so fun to have a reunion!

Yes, being a mom is an adventure....wait till you have teenagers! Yikes!

Rebecca said...

Look at how creative you are...You make motherhood sound so exotic!

Alan and Camille said...

Thanks for not talking about how amazing all your real vacations are like so many "I want to impress you" people! You are dang funny - it made me remember why you were great friend laughing therapy at hillrise!
Camille Ward