Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Desperate Housewives Influence...
While this season of Desperate Housewifes started out horrible, I think the series is kicking it into full gear with the latest hilarious quotes and laughable moments. I swear I died when Rene said, "You guys are like the mean, pretty girls who won't let anyone sit at your lunch table". Mainly because I can relate. Not because I am or was the mean, pretty girl (we'll okay, I am pretty), but because as a mom I think I need a SOLID foundation of friendship to keep me going throughout the day, a clique (more or less) that I can count on to sit with my at a lunch table on a consistent manner. Seriously, carving out some time with BFF's is such a stress reliever and I think is overall healthy for my kids and my marriage. For example, my boob popped out at the gym last summer. K kindly told me to pull up my bathing suit top... I didn't even realize it was an entire flash session until I got a call from J later that night completely laughing and telling me that I had flashed everyone at the pool. But, that is true kinship... an embarrassing moment kept under wraps until you can laugh about it. Almost a year in a half later and I am still getting teased about it.
Sometimes you just need that additional backup from somebody you trust who can tell you that you are sane... and that is what I get from my little clique. While, I really like to have new friends, there is comfort in having a firm foundation of girlfriends and here is why...
1. because Girls Breakfast is SO MUCH cheaper than a therapist. I remember when Ty and I were in our 7 year itch and went to a therapist. It was expensive and lasted 3 sessions before we both realized that we just needed to talk or communicate with each other and we learned that we had to understand our self in order to understand each other and our marriage. We also figured out that we needed a way to vent our petty misunderstandings. Plus, the therapist spent most of the time trying to figure out me instead of our marriage. SO, once a week going to breakfast with my girlfriends really puts opens the lines of communication with my husband because I can better understand his crazy antics (like why he thinks that the unspoken rule of husband responsibilities are predetermined at birth are pure fallacy.. yes, dear ALL HUSBANDS TAKE OUT THE TRASH!). Overall, having somebody to vent with and laugh until you pee your pants can go along way in maintaining your sanity and your self understanding.
2. because My Kids Should NOT be Better Dressed than Me. That is right, when I actually know I have someplace important to go, I get dressed. Even if I am running to McDonalds playplace... I am not going to wear my pink flannel pj bottoms because I would MORTIFY my girlfriends. Whether it is the movies, dinner, anyplace with adult contact, I will pull out the big guns to get out of my sweats and put on some makeup. Let's face it, I live in a botox, seven jean, fake Gucci bags world and I am not going to be the slacker -- Yes, I will keep up with the Jones (to some extent, I am super cheap). Plus, this teaches my kids that taking care of yourself and your appearance is important.
3. because Someday My Kids WILL grow up and My Husband WILL Retire. Let's face it, we are living on borrowed time with our kids and while laying there clothes out each morning, big hugs when they wake up, and snotty nose wiping may be my daily routine, being a mom and having a life outside of my family is important. Plus, I don't want my kids growing up thinking they have a boring mom (well, I am not sure that is the right word because my house is like a freaking party in a box), but that it is okay to develop relationships other than with siblings. I can't stress of building friendships with my kids. When Ben is mean to his BFF I simply say "Would I say that to Kayley or Jenna? He sees how I deal with my friendships and can relate that in his life. And while I love my husband to death, he does go to work and I get my daily routines done, he will someday be home all day and we will need to find outside interests besides watching TV. Why not DATE NIGHT with the locals?
Now going back to my confession as a 30 ish mom, really what I have learned that I missed out in my 20's as a new mom is that I need friends. I need contact with other people that I can say stupid things or yell at a man at Maverick and just have them laugh and smile because -- that is just Debbie. While it is IMPORTANT to be a wife and mom, it is also IMPORTANT to be yourself and having a bunch of girlfriends reminds me of who I am. After all, aren't we all just a bunch of desperate housewives?!