How I Was a Better Parent Before I Had Kids

I was talking with my husband as we were driving home from a family event and I told him I was a better parent before I had kids. It was SO much easier back then! As I am a list maker, I made a list of how I was a better parent before I had kids

1. The house was ALWAYS clean before my husband came home from work. I made sure to clean up after myself and never left dishes in the sink.
2. I was VERY involved in my child's life and didn't need to take breaks. When I was pregnant with Ben, I even brought him to work with me. This was sometimes hard work, but I was very dedicated to rethinking and rearranging my priorities.
3. I established and set rules in the home, AND didn't break them. Things such as eating on the couch, peeing in the bed, finger prints on the wall, just didn't happen.
4. I never would allow naked-ness to go outside the house, and sometimes follow me down the street when I am getting the mail.
5. I was VERY consistent, on time and had a set schedule that was always followed. Get up, get dressed, eat, go to work, come home, hang out with my husband, eat, go to sleep.
6. Potty always went in the toilet, not on the floor
7. Dirty socks went in the washing machine, not one on the floor, one on the couch never meeting up again.
8. I never would leave half glass of milk on the counter.
9. When I had food on my plate, I ate it.
10. AND FINALLY, my coke addiction was non existent making me sleep better and function better as a whole ;) or so I thought and that is when the real fun started!!

WHO KNEW?

Who would have known that the whole "hair" incident in December would of brought on this award!

A Beaming Mother...

Who does she remind you of?

"It is a wise father that knows his own child."

In our House, we accessorize!

First Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality

And we ALL know who gave it to him...

Tuo Xie

Who knew that Emma speaks Chinese? She calls her shoes "tuo xie" thanks to ne hao kai lan.

Amazing BEN!!

This post if for you, Jay. Here is Ben playing soccer.

A Day at the Spa for Mother's Day!!

Make mothers day a great day and pamper yourself a little. Ideally, you could go to a spa and just relax, but this is not an option for some of us. Some of us have to take an alternate route to our beautification. And my spa treatment is all in the home.

What a wonderful Day at the Casa de Cluff Spa I had today. My treatment began this morning, around 7 with a hydrotherapy treatment, courtesy of my dog licking my feet to get me out of bed. I really felt this helped to and remineralize my body first thing in the morning. I was then quickly blessed with a special aromotherpy session. Asaromatherapy is believed that the sense of smell is very powerful and directly connected to our brain, and therefore, to the hormonal activity in the body. Based on this logic, we can balance our hormones using essential oils (Though I am not sure if a poppy diaper counts). BUT I am sure that it hit all of those special requirements. Viola! I was refreshed and ready to start my day, I headed downstairs to mentally and physically prepare myself for my next treatment, but remember my objective was to always relax and look better.

My facial was offered to me by my wonderful and personal esthetician, my Bosch Blender, that didn't have the lid tightened very well and shot an amazing excess of butter cream frosting through the pours of my face, so slightly exfoliating excess dead skin. My wonderful therapist (Emma) then prepared me for my sugar body scrub by strategically applying the sugar to the floor in preparation for my body scrub. Her assistant (Audrey) didn't forget to apply the milk facial while pouring a bowl of cereal. PHEW!

Don't worry, thanks to the mess, I mean treatment, my mani/pedi was followed as I prepare a hand water soak with warm water and a few drops of left over vanilla (from the icing). I was able to soak my hands and feet between the loading of the dishwasher and moping of the floor. Did you know that salted water will help alleviate light-headedness some people experience when soaking in hot water. WOW, this is my lucky day! I did add some salt!

Shiatsu is a form of Japanese bodywork that uses localized finger pressure in a rhythmic sequence on acupuncture meridians. I was able to recieve one of these ALL DAY because my little therapists like to poke, poke, poke when asking a question and I am not paying attention. People are normally pleasantly surprised when they try shiatsu for the first time. It is relaxing yet the pressure is firm, and there is usually no soreness afterwards.

I have to say that the most important part of my spa experience is being sure you have some uninterrupted time for just you. With 2 Diet Cokes, that time did come, for about 2 minutes before the girls figured out I was gone and then began another massage session.

So yes, I was able to rejevenate my mind, body, and spirit with a little mother's day pampering, free of charge! Thanks kids!

Love Notes to My Husband

Gosh, my husband starts his last semester of school today and I am so sad he is gone. So I jotted down some love notes for my husband....


I love the way your socks look on the carpet but I think they’d rather be in the draw


Darling, you have a lot of hats for someone with only one head


Sometimes you are like aching feet, difficult to live with but even harder to live without


The four most important words in our marriage..."I'll do the dishes


Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way


Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.There's too much fraternizing with the enemy in our house.


Marrying you was like buying something I've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house ;)


Love is the answer, but while we're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions


All in all, I might add humor to my blog, but I am more in love with my husband today then i was 9 years ago when we got married. He is amazing, honest, and makes all of us who we are. He is a much better person than me (don't tell him I said that) and we are SO proud of him pursuing his dream and going back to school.

Seminar for Men

Once again, the all female staff will be offering courses to men of all marital status.

Course # and Topic
1. Combating Stupidity
2. You too Can help with Homework
3. PMS- Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
4. How to fill the ice tray
5. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formally known as Check clothes for Diapers before you load)
6. Parenting- It doesn't Stop with Conception
7. Get a Life- Learn to Cook
8. How not to Act Like a Jerk when you are Wrong
9. Reasons to Give Flowers
10. Garbage- Getting it to the Curb
11. "The Weekend" and "Sports" are not Synonymous
12. The Remote Control- Overcoming Your Dependency
13. Real Men Ask for Directions
14. Fluffing the Blankets After Farting is NEVER Necessary
15. How to Put the Toilet Seat Down