Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Husband 1.0 -- Tech Support Needed

Dear Tech Support,

10 years ago I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall system performance over the years, particularly in the flower, chocolates and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 automatically uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

It also seems that Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashed all together.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3, as suggested, to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Children Climbing 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Midday Napping 7.0, or Serial Starter 6.1. Please note that Midday Napping 7.0 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Father-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

Overall, Desperate, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and you will need to understand that it cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend

Cooking 3.0 and
Road Rage 7.7

but overall it is important to remember that you do have a program that will last forever.

Good Luck!

2 comments:

AMiller said...

You are funny, Debbie.

Danielle Spangler said...

OMGOSH! I am totally rolling on the floor! Nothing like a cluff post to brighten your day!!